Poor Lugnut
by ConArtist 24-7
Summary: Ever since Megatron picked up a human and brought him to the base, things have steadily been getting worse for Lugnut. Lets hope the large mech can gain the attention of the Decepticon Leader before the boy ruins any chances he might have had.
1. Chapter 1

Lugnut glared down at the human sitting on the arm of Megatron's throne. For the past month and a half, his master's new 'pet' had done nothing but shoot snide comments at him, grinning like a imp sent from The Pit by Unicron himself while doing it. And, what made him most angry was that he could do nothing to deter this. Anytime he tried to, such as shout at the teenage boy or just nudge him with his foot, Megatron seemed to swoop out of no where like a bringer of death to 'knock some sense' back into the large mech. "Sooo~," hummed the human, his brown eyes flashing under his jaw length black hair. "How long have you been stealing looks at Meg's" Lugnut fought off the earge to flick the little brat at the disrespectful name he called his Lord. "Tight aft~?" His jaw component damn well almost hit the ground as the boy roared with laughter. Falling backwards onto his back, the teenager began rolling around, not even bothering to stiffle the waves of laughter. "Why you little slag! How dare you think I have impure thoughts about my Lord, my Master!" He shouted, slaming one off his large pinchers right next to the boy, leaving a dent.

Bad idea.

It made the human boy stop laughing, but the shouting and slam of his pincher alerted Megatron to the situation, who had been deeper into the base trying to finish some plans.

"Lugnut, you fool!" The Decepticon leader roared, storming into the area, a deep scowl on his face. "Boss man," cried the black haired teen, standing up and bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. "He tried to squish me!"

"N-no! I-I-I-"

"Enough." Megatron strolled over, picking up the boy. "Do not lie. The damage is right there! You imbiecile!"

From the tyrant's palm, the boy grinned his signature shit eating grin, enjoying the shouting from Megatron and the cowering of his moronic minion. Oh yes, Quinn Holds could get use to this, very much indeed.

Please review! It is my energon!


	2. Chapter 2

Now, don't get Quinn wrong. He's not that bad of a guy. Nope, he's actually pretty decent, he even use to volunteer at an animal shelter after school. But, he was also one to point out the obvious, which made him come off cynical and a lot less decent. So, when the teen unwittingly posted on a chat site the following:

'Stupid A-bots, check the chin on that 1! Wonder if the D-cons figured out yet if they have a human they won't shoot as much, LOL!'

Well, it just goes to show two things. One, Decepticons happen to enjoy roving the internet, especially to see footage of them dominating a fight or to hear the occasional Autobot bashes. The second, well, they at least give credit to the person who gives them sinister ideas. So, that's how Quinn ended up with the Decepticons. Why was Megatron so protective of the 'squishy'? Just the simple fact he did not feel like getting another one (and he happened to enjoy Quinn's bluntness and quick wit… as long as it was not directed at him).

Quinn smirked as Lugnut got a dent worked out of his helm by Blitzwing. "Zee, dis is vhat jou get for trying too squish zhe squishy~" Cackled the triple changer, Random grinning like a chesire cat. The giant mech growled, his largest optic directing a glare at the cause of his misfortune. The black haired teen just chuckled. "Yeah, all I did was ask a simple question, Luggy. You didn't have to go and get hostile. Now your beloved master is mad at you!"

"Silence brat. You know nothing!"

"Suuuuure I don't."

"Quinn!" Megatron's voice boomed. "You are leaving." Now it was Lugnut's turn to smirk as he watched the teen's face pale and brown eyes widen. "Aww, fuck." It was time for him to 'get to work', and be a 'shield' for some bot


	3. Chapter 3

((I'd like to thank Zerqyx for continuing to read and review. Yes, yes, I know Quinn is horrible, but if he wasn't, would he be with the D-cons? XD))

'Okay, now, what were the five 'D's of dodgeball? ' Quinn asked himself mentally as he ran away from a T-rex looking mech. 'Uh, um, Dodge.' He did just that as flames shot pass his right arm. "Holy shit!" he ran faster.

'Duck.' He ducked as more fire came his way, singing his already black hair. 'Um, dip? What the hell is dip?' he skidded to a halt, so the T-rex ran over him, and then back pedaled in the way they came. "Toy comes back! Grimlock want play with toy!"

'Hmm, charming. Next was dive.' He dived behind a tree, flattening his thin frame against the brick bark. 'Then…it was dodge again wasn't it! Oh, fuck me!'

Quinn screamed like a girl when the dinobot's head came into view.

Needless to say that was the last time Scrapper was permitted to 'borrow' the human.

It also went to say that the black haired teen was in a foul mood for the rest of the day. The occasional snickers from the large green and purple cycloptic mech were not helping, especially since he seemed to be the only one to hear them. Finally, the human snapped, and it was spectacular.

Slamming his fists onto his laptop keyboard, Quinn began his tantrum after Lugnut snickered one too many times. "What! You think it's funny you fat sack of scrap! Huh, do ya? I'll fragging stick my boot so far up your tailpipe your momma's gonna feel it! Come over here! I'll kick your aft you huge, stupid-" All the surrounding mecha gapped at the teen's outburst, which continued on for a good two and a half minutes, not once letting up on the insults he hurled at Lugnut. "- tie you to a radiator and leave you there for decades and decades to come!" The teen was nearly purple when he fell over and become unresponsive.

Lugnut decided then and there to annoy Quinn more often, since he had never seen a human pass out from lack of oxygen. It was very amusing.


	4. Chapter 4

Rumors, propaganda, lies, these were to be Quinn's tool for the day. Oh, the teen did love having the silver tongue that he had been blessed with, wielding it like a sword ever since he learned to speak.

"Hey, hey, hey! Screamer, down here! Hey!" Quinn smirked as the Seeker growled loudly, before stooping to his level. Red optics narrowed, Starscream poked the dark haired boy in the chest with a sharp claw. "Listen here, runt. I do not care that you're Megatron's new toy. Talk to me like that again an-"

"Yeah, yeah, you'll squish me. That makes me sad Starscream," the face that Quinn pulled made him look like a completely innocent, pure as fallen snow. "Because I think you are one of the most handsome bots ever." His tone was sweet and held none of his usual sarcasm. "Really now?" The jet raised an optic ridge, suspicious, but never one to turn down a compliment. "Oh yes! I've seen you fly on the News, and it is pure mastery of the air! Art even! That's when I realized, that is Boss ever went offline, you would be the best replacement." Puffing up like a proud bird, Starscream beamed. "I am glad to know I am not the only one who sees that."

"I'm sure others would agree! But, there is a small problem though…"

"What?"

"I don't know if I should tell you though."

"If it involves me, I must know!" The teen wobbled on his feet when the Seeker stamped his stabilizer like a sparkling. "Oh, alright… I heard that Lugnut is so sick of Megatron not noticing him, that he is going to kill him and become leader! And fighting him would ruin your perfect frame, it would be horrible!"

-x-

Quinn was not sure how the rumor spread so fast. He had almost been curtain that Starscream would have tried to offline Lugnut on his own. But, one morning after being picked up from his supervised visit home by Lockdown (not a pleasant ride back, I can assure you), the show that awaited him was perfect.

Megatron was right in front of Lugnut, sword to his throat and snarling. "If I ever catch wind of your treachery again, I will turn you to scrap. Do I make myself clear?"

"M-my lord, I w-would never-"

"DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!"

"Yes Lord Megatron!"

"Good."

The teen rubbed his hands together in glee. He was sure karma would bite him in the ass for this, but he would enjoy it fully until then.


	5. Chapter 5

((To Zerqyx: Well…he was not lying per say…Just stretching the truth to stroke Screamer's ego. I hope you enjoy Quinn's suffering.))

Karma. It is unforgiving and defiantly not bias in anyway. Though…Maybe it was in Quinn's and Lugnut's cases.

After the little stunt the teen had pulled a week prior, things had been relatively quiet within the Decepticon hideout. This, as everyone who lived in the general area knew, was not a good thing.

"Ah-choo!" Well, it had been quiet. The resident 'squishy' sat in his usual spot, the arm of Megatron's throne, huddled up in a blanket sniffling, coughing, and groaning at his misfortune. The tyrant spared the boy a glance and a brief pat on the head with a single digit, before summoning Lugnut.

"Yes my Lord?" Asked the large mech, barely able to hide his glee. The sight of his smallest foe sick was such a wonderful sight to behold. As if sensing the mech's joy at the expense of his suffering, Quinn flipped the bird, though was careful not to let Megatron see the rude human gesture.

"I want you to go into the city and retrieve the required medicine to help Quinn with his recovery."

"WHAT?" Both mech and teen shouted in unison. "Boss! There is no way you can send him! He'll just end up crushing the meds, the store, the pharmacist, and-"

"Lord Megatron! The boy will be fine, and this will only bring unwanted attention-"

"ENOUGH!" Quinn covered his ears at the volume of the grey and red mech's shout, Lugnut dialing down his audios. "You," He pointed to Quinn, who shrunk back into his covers. "Be grateful. And you," He directed his claw like digit to Lugnut, who took a step back. "Do as your told."

-x-

Lugnut returned an hour later a wreck, medicine not included, from a run in with the Autobots, while Quinn had started running a fever and was calling Megatron a 'Grey Banana' and singing tones that should have died out with piracy.

Yes, Karma loved to mess with those two more than anyone else.


	6. Chapter 6

((To answer Zerqyx's question; Yes, yes it is. Problem?))

Lugnut cringed as Quinn drug his screwdriver over a sheet of metal, the high pitched screeching hurting his audios. The dark haired teenager grinned widely, repeating the action over and over.

He would give the large mech credit; his patience had grown since Quinn first became part of the dysfunctional group of Decepticons.

"I demand you to cease making that noise!" The screeching stopped for a brief moment.

"Mmm, don't wanna~" And then it picked up again, even louder.

Well, that was until another screech joined in, this one coming from Black Arachnia's vocalizer.

"I swear to Primus, I am going to kill whoever is doing that!"

"It's Lugnut, ma'am!" Quinn instantly shouted, his tone high and polite, even though he was lying through his pristine teeth.

"What? Why you insect!" The teen squealed in surprise when Lugnut picked him up, and dropped him on top of a very high piece of machinery.

"No, no, no! Put me back down! I swear I will so have Boss on your sorry aft!"

Promptly ignoring the irritating and angry boy, Lugnut barely had time to brace himself for the techno-organic's oncoming string of insults and web.


End file.
